has anybody seen fat kid rules the world? was it any good?
“Flowers on the subway” by Fever Dreams for Pansies
There’s an altoid tin in this track, can you hear it haha?
www.feverdreamsforpansies.bandcamp.com
www.youtube.com/user/prettylittledoughboy
whenever i’m sad about losing my singing voice during transition i come listen to you to remind myself that it doesn’t have to be gone forever
<3 <3 <3s to you!! <3 <3
Also seeing this on my dash reminded me to post the lyrics so here you go:
aching little baby, just a little sunlight, just a little sunlight left/
tired little honey, he says Don’t I want the money? well don’t I want the money? Get it/
I’ve got muscles sore I didn’t even know I had I didn’t even know that i could hurt like that/
was the last time it’s not like you would want me anymore anyway anymore anyway/
gettin onto the train home they were
eatin me up by the spoonful I just
hope they could taste how rotten I am and I
hope it made them sick to their stomachs, I
hope I made them sick
breakin shoes cause I’m clumsy and it’s just the way I’ve always been I’ve always fallen into things too quickly/
Quickly tell me do you love me? do you want me? do you think I’m pretty? could you see me in the movies? I can/
tell you’ve got your own troubles, tell you’ve got your own wounds, I am licking mine and you are taking yours in stride, by which I mean/
taking it out on every flower on the subway and us pansies int he corner are throwing daggers back your way/
gettin onto the train home they were
eatin me up by the spoonful I just
hope they could taste how rotten I am and I
hope it made them sick to their stomachs, I
hope I made them sick
what are your favorite pick-me-up movies (pref. on netflix) for when you’re feeling down and depressed?
“Flowers on the subway” by Fever Dreams for Pansies
There’s an altoid tin in this track, can you hear it haha?
www.feverdreamsforpansies.bandcamp.com
www.youtube.com/user/prettylittledoughboy
My gender is not your gender, but what I’ve found is that I can do tons of work trying to get people to understand my gender and they still won’t understand. So I’m left feeling really uncomfortable and still not understood.Ugh yeah. Like realistically people are skeptical and shitty and misgendering no matter how I present my body (though it’s definitely becoming different now that I’ve been on hormones for a while). I think that it’s more about my own shame or feeling like it’s “my fault”. Like so many shitty people (trans folks included, my own mother included) have drilled into my head over and over that if I present femininely its my own fault if people don’t understand my gender or refuse to treat me respectfully. And that I only have a right to be hurt or upset if I “did everything in my power” to appear like a “normal guy” whatever the fuck that means.
And that’s obviously such bullshit. it’s not my fault or my responsibility either way. I just internalize that stuff so deeply though.
I’ve been thinking and stressing a lot about what to wear to my dad’s wedding, mostly because it’s unintentionally become some kind of transsexual debutante ball for me at the same time??? Like I didn’t feel prepared to or want to come out as trans or as being on hormones to p. much anyone in my extended family. But this wedding has sort of forced me up against that. My dad has had conversations with my extended family about it, but I haven’t. So I’m not really sure of what they’re thinking/feeling how they’re going to respond, if they’re going to ask me questions, if they’re going to ignore me, etc.
And I keep going through the same things I always go through when I meet new people or see old friends/family. Like do I present “masculine” so that it’s easier for them to wrap their heads around my gender and they’re potentially more likely to “believe me” and to make an effort to use the correct name and pronouns? All the while feeling depressed and uncomfortable and ugly and weak in clothes that don’t actually reflect who I am? Or do I say “fuck it” and show up in all of my high-femme glory feeling beautiful and confident and strong and smiling ear to ear? And just decide that their understanding is not as important as my comfort?
I usually choose the first option, but right now I am leaning towards the second. I rarely see or speak to my extended family and I don’t want to feel extra terrible all day trapped in clothes that make me feel gross for people that I’m not close with. It would make me sad if they don’t understand or if they reject me or whatever, but it also won’t impact me the way it does with my immediate family and friends.
I guess I’m just trying to tell myself that it’s okay if they don’t get it. And it’s okay to just go and be myself instead of spending the whole wedding trying to make them understand.
aw gosh i was just thinking what a gorgeous profile you have tho *__* especially yr lips & the way yr beard hugs yr jawline and ahhh sorry for this unsolicited compliment but i genuinely think u have a lovely profile. i hope u have a great night xoahh it’s very appreciated tho!! I’m very self concious about my jaw and my double chins and my nose and head shape and all sorts of other weird little details and I’ve been kind of obsessing about where the right place to end my beard is? So just yeah thank you <3 < 3 <3
oh god posting profile shots makes me so anxious! I have so many insecurities about my profile idk *hides*
Photos courtesy of Kallima Garden, sandjd, and Philippe Pechoux.
Helichrysum milfordiae aka Alpine Everlasting and Milford Everlasting. Native to South Africa. Hardy in zones 6-9.
damn these flowers took my breath away
I just gave myself a fade for the first time…. it was really hard! But I’m pretty happy with how it turned out. I just need to keep practicing.
I also did what I think is called a “hard part” for the first time? I took my buzzer to my part on both sides towards the front and it looks really sharp and well defined. I love it! I’m definitely gonna have to keep up with it and be careful with it but it’s a nice detail.
Really excited to see how nice it looks next to my soft curls when they dry : 3
What style boards are you following?just 4 or 5 random ones that pinterest suggested. i would love to follow better ones though. ANy pinterest boards y’all really like?
